Woman Becomes Cyclops After Lighting Third Eye Chakra Candle

Local mystic Dahlia Mykopolis awoke Sunday morning to discover that she had become a cyclops overnight after lighting a third eye chakra candle from Amazon before she fell asleep.

“I just wanted to open up my third eye so I could transcend duality like every other cool person I know! I guess I got what I asked for, quite literally,” grumbled the now-Cyclops Mykopolis, who also grew five inches taller and sprouted a small horn from her forehead overnight.

Mykopolis’ girlfriend, Linda Reyes, told The Divine Times: “I’m just so glad I couldn’t stay over last night. I have no fucking idea what I would do if I woke up next to that Mike Wazowski looking motherfucker. I mean, I love her and all, but I think that becoming a cyclops overnight is a deal breaker for me.”

According to the Amazon description, the three-star rated candle promises that it will: “☆ Take you into another realm and help grow your third eye.☆” Unfortunately for Mykopolis, she did not read the warning at the bottom of the description: “★Not to be used by those who descend from ancient mythological creatures.★”

At press time, Mykopolis plans to see a plastic surgeon as soon as possible, and hopes that her body will not continue to adopt any further cyclopsian traits.