Woman Climbs 300 Foot Ladder In Desperate Attempt to Reach Higher Consciousness

In a continuous, desperate effort to find a deeper meaning to her life, local woman Lucille Kane constructed the world’s largest ladder on Saturday in hopes of finally achieving a higher consciousness.

“I have tried everything over the past few years to achieve a higher consciousness. Meditation, tarot card readings, healing crystals, CBD oil… everything! None of it has worked. I’m still just plain-old-boring Lucille. So I went to the hardware store, bought some wood and tools, and here I am,” Kane yelled from the top of the ladder, “I haven’t achieved it yet, but I hope I’ll get there soon!”

According to friends of Kane, she has been relentlessly pursuing her goal of reaching a “higher consciousness” for years.

“She’s always just wanted to be, like, on my level, I guess. You can’t just rush a spiritual awakening… but I guess I never tried building a ladder, so maybe it’ll work. I just hope she’ll stop harping on the idea now,” stated long-term, self-proclaimed “awakened” friend Kelsey LaGuardia.

At press time, Kane hopes that she will have enough wood, strength, and foresight to continue building the ladder until she reaches her desired state of consciousness.